


Blissfully Ordinary: In Which There Are Tricks, Treats, and Crossdressing

by LizzieHarker



Series: Blissfully Ordinary, Boringly Domestic [5]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Clint Barton does Drag, Domestic Fluff, Halloween, M/M, Schmoop, Slice of Life, Steve and Buck are an old married couple, and they're okay with it, trick or treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 20:11:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16311932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzieHarker/pseuds/LizzieHarker
Summary: “Well, would you look at that.” Buck put his arm around Steve’s shoulders and pulled him in, tilting his chin in the direction of the trick-or-treaters.Steve sat up. It took him a moment to figure out what Buck had seen. The streets were as decked out as the houses, and the glow of the jack’o’lanterns had nearly made the kid invisible. Which, Steve guessed, might have been the point.A kid in tan slacks, a white shirt, and suspenders dragged a pillowcase behind him and he followed two bigger boys to the house across the street. His blond hair stuck up at all angles. It was an unremarkable getup, unlike the superhero costumes the other kids wore. Steve could remember the first tiny Captain America he’d seen; Natasha had laughed at his awkward discomfort, but as the kid turned to walk with his friends toward Steve and Buck, a different feeling settled in Steve’s chest.The kid had a metal trash can lid in the hand that wasn’t holding the pillowcase.





	Blissfully Ordinary: In Which There Are Tricks, Treats, and Crossdressing

Steve grinned, holding up the bowl as Bucky dumped another bag of Halloween candy into it. They hadn’t gone in for the cheap stuff, hell no. Sure, the clerk had looked at them sideways, but what was the point of handing out candy if you went for that “fun sized” nonsense? With the other houses lit up orange, purple, and green, and giant (thankfully) fake spiders crawling out of windows, to do anything less would be shameful. Bucky lowered himself onto the stoop at Steve’s side, long legs covered in gray jeans, the colored lights reflecting against his worn black motorcycle boots. He’d slicked his hair back and if Steve wasn’t mistaken, had added a little eyeliner to his getup. Buck had ditched his usual black Henley for red, a rare occurrence in his usually monochromatic wardrobe. Steve snuggled up beside him. Okay, so they’d gone in for candy and not costumes, but he had to admit it was nice just being himself.

Being themselves.

Especially when Buck put his arm around Steve’s shoulders and pulled him in, tilting his chin in the direction of the trick-or-treaters. “Well, would you look at that.”

Steve sat up. It took him a moment to figure out what Buck had seen. The streets were as decked out as the houses, and the glow of the jack’o’lanterns had nearly made the kid invisible. Which, Steve guessed, might have been the point.

A kid in tan slacks, a white shirt, and suspenders dragged a pillowcase behind him and he followed two bigger boys to the house across the street. His blond hair stuck up at all angles. It was an unremarkable getup, unlike the superhero costumes the other kids wore. Steve could remember the first tiny Captain America he’d seen; Natasha had laughed at his awkward discomfort, but as the kid turned to walk with his friends toward Steve and Buck, a different feeling settled in Steve’s chest. 

The kid had a metal trash can lid in the hand that wasn’t holding the pillowcase. 

Buck ribbed him, a smirk twisting his lips. Steve had seen dozens of little Caps since he’d come out of the ice, but this kid had dressed up as Steve. Holy hell, he even had a split lip. 

“Wow, a zombie Ninja Turtle! Haven't seen one of those yet,” Bucky said, dishing out candy. “Queen Elsa, lovely to meet you. Oh, you’re a donkey. Okay. That’s cool. One time my ma dressed me up as a bird and it was terrifying. I think I was supposed to be a turkey.”

Steve giggled. Halloween hadn’t been a big deal back then, but he remember that awful costume. The following year, Buck had been a skeleton, but he’d somehow made it look effortlessly cool. Bucky ribbed him again; the little Steve Rogers had stepped up for his offering.

“Ah, I know you,” Bucky said, letting the Brooklyn drawl into his voice.

“Yeah, right,” the kid answered. “Let’s have it. I’ve gotten detective and businessman so far.”

Bucky snorted. “Detective. Steve Rogers couldn’t detect an alley fight if it knocked him in the teeth.”

Steve rammed his elbow into Bucky’s ribs. Bucky laughed, shoving him back. “Rude.”

“Sorry,” Buck said, turning back to the kid, who’d lit right up. “Grant here’s a fan. I couldn’t help teasing him.” Steve narrowed his eyes at him.

“That’s okay. You guys are the only people to get it right.”

“Ain’t no one as great as Steve Rogers,” Buck answered. Steve felt himself blush. Bucky 100% definitely gave the kid extra candy. “Just don’t get into fist fights, okay?”

“You got it, Buck,” the kid said, nodding. Bucky barely kept the surprise off his face. The kid shrugged. “You know, Bucky Barnes was Steve’s best friend.”

“I read that somewhere.”

“Why’d you pick Steve,” Steve asked. Might as well join the conversation instead of sitting there like a weirdo. “Why not Cap?”

The kid rolled his eyes. “Because everyone is Cap, and yeah, Captain America is cool and all, but Steve was a kid like me and he stood up for what was right, and he didn’t need superpowers to be a hero.”

“James, give him more candy,” Steve said.

Bucky laughed and offered the kid another handful. “Guess you had the right answer, kid.”

His eyes widened. “Wow, thanks! Happy Halloween!”

They waved as he bounded down the steps after his friends, and then Steve turned to Bucky, baffled. “That kid was me! I’ve never seen anyone dressed up as me!”

“One Steve Rogers is bad enough,” Buck replied. Steve slugged him in the arm. “What?”

“Jerk.”

“Punk.”

The kid stopped halfway to the next building, turning around to look at them with a blank expression. His gaze darted from Steve, to Buck, and back, widening ever so slightly with each pass. Bucky simply waved at him. “Trick or treat.”

“Treat,” a voice purred beside them. 

Steve caught a glimpse of red hair and a hand darting into the candy dish. He looked up, blinked, then raised his eyes higher. Clint unwrapped the cherry sucker and popped it between his cherry red lips, his long limbs clad in black latex, a red wig perched on his head. Beside him, Natasha—sporting a much shorter, bleach-blonde pixie cut—crossed her arms, a bandage across her nose and a bruise mottling her cheek.

Buck leaned into him, equally shocked. “Stevie? We in one of those body snatcher flix?”

“I sure hope not,” Steve answered, staring at the very tall Not Black Widow and the petite Not Hawkeye.

Clint snorted. “And what you supposed to be, Grant and James?”

Natasha smirked. “An old married couple.”

“Why are you like this?” Bucky asked, tugging Steve close. Well, they had been married since 1935. Technically, if not legally.

“Like what?” Clint answered, tilting his head with the ghost of Natasha’s infamous grin on his lips.

“Okay, that’s creepy,” Steve added. “How much candy we gotta throw at you to make you go away?”

Natasha crossed her arms. “Coffee. We want coffee. And we’re like this because there was a Halloween parade in Bed-Stuy, which went over well until we accidentally tripped into a fist fight.” She shrugged. “It looked bad. Worked out okay. For us, anyway.”

Steve and Buck exchanged a look. “Is that why you’re bruised and Clint looks flawless?”

“I _am_ flawless,” Clint countered.

“Did one hell of a job tucking, bro. And your ass looks great,” Bucky added. 

The archer grinned. “Thank you. So is this really all you’re doing tonight? Handing out candy to little goblins and ghouls?” He waved a hand at them. Even his nails were perfectly manicured. He must have caught Steve staring because he added, “My toes match.”

“Yeah, bro. We wanted a quiet night in. No parties, no dressing up. We carved pumpkins and put up lights,” Bucky said, jerking a thumb at his classic Mr. Scary Face Pumpkin sitting next to Steve’s elaborately carved Happy Halloween pumpkin complete with scrollwork, bats, and transparent edges that made the design glow. Steve felt proud of it. They’d roasted the seeds after gutting the things: one batch all cinnamon, sugar, and cardamom, the other they’d split between good old fashioned salt and pepper and some experimental sweet and spicy ones.

“People watching’s pretty great. We definitely got made by a nine-year-old, though,” Bucky continued, while Steve looked at him, eyes wide, and said, “Oh, god, we are an old married couple.”

Bucky chuckled. “Old, no. Well, depends how you slice it, I guess.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “I’m never going to win the bet at this rate,” she mumbled.

Steve and Bucky traded a look. They’d figured out Sam and Nat’s on-going wager earlier that year, and the amount of money riding on which of them would propose first was not insignificant. They’d been trying to tip the scales in their favor ever since. Steve quirked his mouth into a barely repressed grin. Bucky nudged him. “No one won the bet.”

Natasha tilted her head.

And Clint took the bait.

“Wait. What?”

“Oh look, Buck, we’re outta candy,” Steve said, looking into the still very full bowl. “Guess it’s time to pack it up.” He set the bowl on the landing and stood. 

Bucky hopped up beside him, holding up a hand. “Good night.”

They barely opened the front door before Clint followed, dragging Natasha along behind him. “What do you mean no one won? Guys? Did you get married? Did you elope? Oh my god, did you elope?!”

Steve glanced back, eyebrow arched.

Clint followed, eyes wide in disbelief. “Wait, wait, wait, did you really? When? Why? How? No way you two eloped. Why would you elope? Who married you? I’m ordained, you know!”

Bucky snorted. “Ain’t no one in the world who’d ordain you, Barton.”

Clint pulled up short. “Anyone can be ordained on the Internet,” he answered, straight-faced. “But you  
didn’t elope, did you?”

Natasha came to a halt and slugged Clint in the arm. “Knock it off. Of course they didn’t elope. Are you joking? Steve wouldn’t be able to shut up about it. He’s a sap.”

“Oh, that’s a good point.”

“Besides,” Bucky added, mounting the last steps toward their floor, “I think legally I’m dead circa 1944, Steve is still technically property of the government, and we don’t have any documentation. We’re off the grid.”

“We don’t need a fancy piece of paper anyway,” Steve said, sliding the key into their door. 

Clint and Natasha stepped into their apartment. Steve headed to the kitchen to make coffee. Truth be told, they hadn’t really talked about getting married, not that it’d never crossed Steve’s mind. Sure, they didn’t need a paper and a ring and a ceremony, but that didn’t mean Steve wouldn’t want it.

The relief in Clint’s voice struck Steve’s heart. “Oh. Well. So . . .you didn’t elope?”

“No, Barton. If we decide to get married, you’ll be the first to know. Well, second.”

Steve chuckled, reappearing with four coffee mugs in his hands. Natasha eagerly reached for one, while Clint took his mug gracefully. Okay, sure, they were best friends but the body double act was freaky. He know damn well he couldn’t imitate Buck like that. He shuddered, slinking over to his partner. Bucky took the offered mug and pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheek. Steve raised his own coffee cup. “Now that that’s settled, tell us how you managed to get into a fight during a kid’s Halloween parade.”

Clint smirked, cocking a hip, and Natasha sighed before taking a long swing of her coffee. Whatever they were about to say, Steve knew it was gonna be great.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween! 
> 
> I'd really just like to survive the month of October. Between car wreck stress (I'm fine) and dealing with insurance, and a wedding to attend at the end of the month, I am burning out fast. Luckily, November's fic is already done, so I'm going to move onto December and focus on the next major arc. Since I'm (hopefully, please) moving in January, fics are going to be far less frequent.
> 
> Actually, I hadn't realized how ambitious a fic a month was until a couple weeks ago, and yeah. Wow.
> 
> I may have also tripped and fallen down the Veddie rabbit hole. No, I haven't seen Venom yet. Yes... I may be working on fanart. Don't @ me.
> 
> \----
> 
> Follow me [on Tumblr!](http://lizzieharker.tumblr.com/)  
> 


End file.
